Elijah and Despair

"But [Elijah] went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God."  - 1 Kings 19:4-8 (ESV)

    It is easy to think the Biblical heroes are more than human.  We sometimes think they are more like Superman than us.  It is easy for us to notice the flaws and cracks of our own humanity.  We reason that people like Elijah are above our defects.  We think somehow he must be closer to God than us, and correspondingly further away from the human weakness we are very conscious of.  But when we read 1 Kings 19:4 and hear the depression and anguish in Elijah's voice as he asks God to kill him, all of a sudden Elijah looks a lot more human.

    Why did Elijah want to die?  The main reason (at least I think so), are his feelings of isolation coupled with the threat made on his life by King Ahab.  These two factors caused Elijah to sink to a dark place. Right before the passage in 1 Kings 19, Elijah called on Yahweh to come and display his power on Mount Carmel and defeat the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18:20-40).  God answered him, and Baal was shown to be the hollow idol he was.  Yet after this victory, Elijah fled for his life into the wilderness due to the desire Ahab and Jezebel had for his death.  It is difficult to know what was going on in Elijah's mind, but I personally think his circumstances broke him.  

    Throughout history Elijah has been viewed as the quintessential prophet.  To this day religious Jews leave a symbolic cup of wine for him at Passover.  Christians have historically viewed him as one of the most intriguing and mystifying people in the Old Testament.  Jesus described John the Baptist as coming in the spirit and power of Elijah (basing this on Malachi 3:23).  Therefore Elijah has a reputation in people's minds, sometimes downplaying his humanity as we mentioned before.  This all comes to a reckoning as we read 1 Kings 19:4.  Elijah was indeed broken by life and the hard backdrop of the wilderness.  It was under a broom tree in this wilderness he wanted death.  Has all of the historic glamorizing of Elijah been in vain, or does this make him sound more like us?  The Bible never glosses over the human aspect of its heroes.  It doesn't present an idealized world that's removed from pain and sorrow.  In fact the Bible makes a point that human life is steeped in these things. In scripture the world isn't right, it is a pale shadow of what it is supposed to be.  When God chooses someone to carry His message, the messenger is from this broken creation.  The messenger does not come removed from the state of the world.  The fact that God chooses the weak and broken to do noble and transcendent good should encourage us.  Elijah is worth his reputation, and God His.  Elijah was who he was because God was forming him and bringing redemption through him.  This shows us that God's words carry the power to change the world.  When Elijah spoke these words: idols fell, kings were angered, fire consumed sacrifices.  The same mouth that carried God's words to accomplish these events also confessed in a low moment its despair and anguish.  If the Bible does not see this as a conflict, we should do the same.  No matter what our own circumstances and past give us, it still does not disqualify us to carry the words of God.  God is a God of redemption.  

    Struggling to find hope in a hard situation does not disqualify us either.  As the passage unfolds we see God's compassion and care for Elijah as He feeds him.  God does not withdraw from us due to our human struggles.  In fact God comes closest to us in our brokenness.  This episode culminates in Elijah being led to Sinai, the place where many generations ago, God called Israel to be His own people to ultimately bless all people.  It is here hidden in a cleft in the rock God appears to Elijah (1 Kings 19:9-21).  God's arrival is not embodied in fire, wind, or an earthquake. He comes in a gentle whisper in the depths of Elijah's soul.  God's whisper was enough for Elijah in that moment.  I think this "still small voice" chased away his desire for his life to end.  There is power in the whisper of God, power to conquer dark impulses.  This whisper is also more than a mere voice, it contains the presence of God attached to the voice.  It is God being present with Elijah (and also the reader).  God was with Elijah in that place, He will also be with us as well. 

     One of the main descriptors of Jesus is that He is "God with us".  God in Christ is not removed from human pain but enters into it, carrying it all the way to the cross.  Christ carried Elijah's sorrow.  Christ also carries the pain of all those who have suffered in this life.  He is present with the suffering of those enslaved and terrorized throughout history.  He is with the hurting hearts of all the "least of these" throughout time and space. The promise God is with us opens us to this quiet whisper of God.  The presence of God, the Spirit of Jesus; is available to all who ask.  He is near to the broken hearted.  May He be with you in your journey through the wilderness of this world.  Your struggle does not disqualify you.